Ok, I'm done. I promised Ben that I wouldn't freak out about it anymore, so I'm not going to (at least I'm gunna try).

So, Sunday at mass, Fr. Babbick was talking about sitting a experiencing the beauty of God around us as Mary did in the gospel. Then he mentioned children--precious blessings that serve to be such humbling opportunities to experience life. And, it got me thinking about how much I want to be a mother. Like, I can't imagine living my life without having children to call my own. Every woman is called to be a mother in some way, shape, or form be it naturally, through adoption, or by way of the consecrated life.

I've seriously considered two of the three...solemnly discerned where God is calling me in my life. And I have to say that I'm quite certain that the pull I felt to the religious life was simply a humble sinner's attraction to the beauty of holiness. Who wouldn't be, at least somewhat, attracted to a life devoted solely to Christ, as his bride and servant? I mean, we as women seek out the man who would best complete our lives, our "soulmate," right? What better soulmate to have than the epitome of perfect love? And to live in a community of other women who have made the same vows as you, who share the same passion for Christ, free of distraction, and full of love...wow. It's overwhelming! However, as wonderful as that all sounds, I've come to the conclusion that my vocation in this world is to live outside of the convent walls, to serve Christ as a wife, mother, friend, and volunteer.

My journey has been one of love, beauty, and peace and I stand firm in my assertion that Christ is calling me to earthly love; love between a man and a woman; love through which faith grows and the soul rejoices. Love that "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." 1 Corinthians 13:7


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