Now, that's not to say that my life is empty or dull...because it isn't. I have the most wonderful boyfriend, the most amazing friends, a somewhat steady relationship with God, and a family that continues to love me despite all my imperfections. But I've noticed that my relationship with God, the aspect of my life that used to have a rather firm grip, has been slowly slipping away; and it isn't anyone's fault but my own. I've been lazy and selfish and rather irresponsible and now I'm sitting here at the computer with a good chunk of time to reflect on how to better/strengthen that relationship.
I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I used to have the perfect relationship with God, because I didn't. I'm just as flawed (if not more so) as everyone else in this world and I've let my shortcomings get the best of me many times. But there was a point about 6 months ago where I felt like I could do anything. Yeah, my life may have been in shambles and I might not have been able to go 3 days without completely losing it, but I KNEW in my heart, my soul, and my head, that I my life was infiltrated by the grace, strength, and love of God. And then, something happened, and I got distracted (it's one of those blonde things) and I just kinda let go.
So, here's the deal. I'm tired of looking back, seeing what I had, and regretting that I don't have it anymore. I was a complete mess for those few months and I don't know that I've ever been more confused in my life, but I was joyful. And to know true joy is to experience and to know God. I'm not asking to go back in time. Sure, I learned a good bit about myself during those few months, but you couldn't pay me to go through that again. I'm simply asking for your prayers and support during this time, MY time, of reconstruction. I've got a lot of work to do...my soul's not looking all that healthy right now. But, as Philippians 4:13 says, "I have strength for everything through Him who empowers me."